April 2016

I take Transit everywhere, it’s how I get around. However, it seems like I’m an open target for crazy when I’m outside by myself.

Flash back to a few years ago, I was waiting for the bus near my house to go to a party.
A very intoxicated man sat on the bus stop across the street, notices me and proceeds to walk across a busy street, without using the cross walk to come over and say “Hi”. Now because this is the bus stop I use all the time, I tend to actually talk to people. It seems like the nice neighborly thing to do. However, I realize this man is very tipsy and is doing a bad job of hitting on me.  He decides where I was going that night, he’s going come too and show me a good time! He managed to say “Screw the crew, I’mmagoin to hang out with youuu!”

All I can think is “where the fuck is the bus?” well keeping a safe distance from this stranger.

I remember telling him that was not necessary and what would his crew think when he didn’t show up to wherever he was going? He seemed very satisfied with that answer and wandered away.

All I could think was “thank the heaven’s he left me alone! But really, where the fuck is the bus!?”

Across the street at the other bus stop going in the other direction, sat a man.

Taking a poo.

I kid you not, pants around ankles, squatting, doing his man business, in a bus shelter.  Now this is not the first time I’ve seen a person taking a poo at a bus stop, Thanks buses going down Hastings, but it is the first time I’ve seen it in my neighborhood.

Fun fact: Same tipsy guy from earlier.

Turns out he needed to poo and didn’t want to be rude and poo next to me. Chivalry at its finest I tell you!

Finally the bus shows up well this guy his doing his thing at the other bus, and I’ve never gotten on a bus so fast in my life. I looked out the window to see the man standing and struggling to put on his pants, yelling at the bus driver to wait. I could have sworn the bus driver said “Fuck that” under his breath as he closed the doors and drove away.

Needless to say I was late to the party but I had a very interesting reason to why!
Now not every transit related story is awful and cringe worthy, like this one.

I got the chance to work the Gluten-Free Expo thing through work with my co-worker Shayla. I was standing outside of Canada place waiting for Shayla to show up when this exchange took place.

A guy walked past me, glances over and trips over his two feet. He then says “Holy fucking shit, beautiful”. He looked super embarrassed as this took place right in front of me, so I said “Good morning” in the nicest

-I-just-saw-all-of-that-but-its-OK-it-was-cute-

kind of way. This guy then walked away, comes back and says “Sorry, I saw you almost tripped and forgot what direction I was going” and left.

So not every time I take the bus I need an adult, but lets face it, I need an adult when I go outside.