If you know me, you know I take the bus to get around the lovely city of Vancouver. Random, weird and strange things happen to me all the time. Today was one of those days where I needed an adult.
I got smelled by a guy.
Not once, but three times and I’m not even sure where to being with this. From the beginning I suppose!
It was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon and I had spent the early afternoon exploring Italian day on the drive. I knew it would be sunny outside, so of course I had put on sunscreen before leaving the house. I’m a redhead, next to eating and drinking, sunscreen is apart of my life.
Anyway, it was time to head home. I had just gotten off the skytrain and was waiting to cross the street to wait for my bus.
Enter male redhead and the following conversation went down.
Oh my god, can you believe this weather?! Its so sunny and hot out! -Random guy
Yeah its pretty beautiful out! -Me
How do you not have a sunburn? I have a couple of sun burns now and you are just, NOTHING! How do you do it?
Well, sunscreen my friend.
Yeah but doesn’t it have like a bunch of chemicals in it?
Well, I’ll take chemicals over looking like a lobster in an hour or a leather shoe when I’m older.
Ahah your right! But like so many sunscreens have chemicals in them! Do you use coconut oil? I hear its like a SPF 6, but don’t you think you would burn with it on because its like, an oil?
No I use a sunscreen by La Roche Posay and it is about 30$ a bottle.
This is where the guy proceeds to smell me.
THE GUY FULL ON SMELLED ME.
From my wrist up to my bicep.
But you don’t even smell like sunscreen! Like at all.
He then proceeded to smell me TWO MORE TIMES! Saying I don’t smell at all.
He then went on to tell me that when he’s working he drinks a 4L jug of water with those MIO water flavors because “Electrolytes are the shit!”. He also wears a hat at work, “You know the ones that the guys from Aladdin wear, with the thing on the back? Yeah I wear one of those”. He also keeps his beard because he never gets a sunburn on his face. Well except his nose.
This guy then takes off his shirt* and says “I use to wax but I would always get a sunburn, so I’m just natural now”. He then goes off to tell me about his ex-girlfriend who would hug anyone at wreck beach, she got into a lot of drugs and that he hasn’t heard from her in a while. He hates this whole Netflix and Chill because he’s a guy who just wants to watch a movie and snuggle. He loves putting KD cheese powder on the giant bags of popcorn from Superstore and just watching movies.
I’m thinking to myself, “Where is the bus? Oh look the bus! Yes I’m closer to home and away from this guy!”
Clearly this guy was thinking the same thing because he asked if it was alright if he got my number, unless I had a boyfriend.
If you know me, I always say I have a boyfriend when someone asks for my number. So of course I said yes I do, but its new.
He asked if he could still have it, since it was just a new relationship because “You never know what could happen with new relationships”. I politely declined he said that was cool. We fist bumped, he said he was going to walk home to even out his tan and I got on the bus.
All the best!
*He never put back on his shirt.