July 2016

If you know me you know I’ve gone on some horrible dates.

So naturally I signed up for Tinder. You know, keep the bad dates going and content for the blog. You can find part one here and part two here.

Everyone goes on a really great dates, and everyone goes on really bad dates.  Although, it seems that I go on a lot of really bad dates more often than really great dates. So I’m here to tell you about my worst Tinder Date and my favorite Tinder date.

My worst Tinder Date.
Is it bad I can’t even remember this guy’s name? For story telling purposes I will call him Alex.

Alex and I had agreed to meet downtown next to the famous Olympic torch after I was off work. I remember walking up to the agreed meeting spot and seeing a very handsome man standing there looking at his watch, looking around and then back at his watch. I remember thinking to myself “Wow, this guy looks better in person!” As I got closer we did that thing where you both look at each other like *are you the one I’m meeting here?* look.  Sadly this man wasn’t Alex, but some other guy waiting for his date to show up.

Although, the guy seated about 30 ft away, wearing dirty sweats and an oversized hoodie, was indeed, Alex.
I walked over and said “Hey, are you by Alex by any chance?” We had our introduction and he apologized for not dressing up for this date because clearly I had, as he just came from work.
Please note we are less than five minutes into this “date” and I was just wearing a skirt, leggings and a sweater and I just came from work as well.

This is the moment I should have walked away.  I didn’t.

I asked him if he wanted to grab coffee and walk around like we had originally agreed on.  Alex responded with “Well I just spent a shit load on parking down here so why don’t we go drive over to Stanley park and walk around their”.
I told him I don’t get into cars with strangers. You know, because safety.

This is the moment I should have walked away. I didn’t.

He told him that he promised to keep his hands to himself on the way over, he was more than willing to let me take a picture of his driver’s license and text it to anyone I knew well.  Needless to say, I took a photo of his drivers license and texted it to a friend. I went against everything my mom taught me as a kid and I got into a car with a stranger.

On the way over Alex told me he worked as a mechanic, he owned 4 vehicles and lived in a sweet pad by himself.
Once we arrived at Stanley Park, he was irritated that he had to pay for parking. You see Alex just spent his last 100$ at Costco on wholesale goods and paying the 3.25$ for parking was just “Fucking bullshit”.

Then the following conversation went down:
Me:  “I have 3.25$, so this means you get me for an hour”
Alex:  “Well who says I’m going to want you after an hour?”

This was the moment I should have walked away, I didn’t.

We began walking and I asked him all kinds of questions about himself. Hobbies, favorite movies, does he have any family in the area? This guy never directly asked me any questions. I would always ask him a question and tack on my answer to my question at the end.

During this walk I found out:
He lives in a sweet pad.
He hates his ex girlfriend with a passion.
He likes to take TV’s apart, fix them, put them back together and sell them.
He took off his shirt and I got to see all his scars from various moments in his life.

These where moments I should have walked away, I didn’t.

During this walk, me asking questions and Alex talking about himself, I began to realize something. He had mentioned he lost his license in the past and the light bulb went off for me. So I asked him, “So, you mentioned you lost your license at one point, like did you lose your wallet with the license inside?”
I was trying to give him the benefit here.

Turns out this guy had lost his license for a DUI, not once, but THREE TIMES in the last 10 YEARS! Then the guy tries to justify as to why he got them!

These where the exact words I used.
“Look I’m going to be honest with you. The fact that you had not one, but three DUI’s in 10 years tells me you don’t respect anyone around you –He tried to interject at this point– No let me finish, I know people who have lost people to drunk drivers and there is no excuse for it. Also on this entire “Date”, you have never asked me a question about myself, which also tells me you have no interest in getting to know me, so this is where I’m going to leave you.”
Alex replied with “But the DUI’s are in my past, you seriously can’t look past that?”
I told him “Yes, the fact that you have three DUI’s is not something I look past, so this is where I leave you, enjoy the parking”.

That is the moment I walked away.

The icing on the cake was the fact that I got a text from him the next morning. The text read “I felt like the date was going really well until you left me in the park. So I understand if you feel bad about wasting my time but I’m willing to give you a second chance.”

Needless to say, I didn’t text him back.

I know to some people this may not seem like the worst Tinder date, but to me its the worst date I’ve ever been on. With that said, I’ve been on some really great dates so I look forward to telling you about my favorite Tinder Date.

Until next time!

If you know me you know I’ve gone on some horrible dates.

So naturally I signed up for Tinder. You know, keep the bad dates going and content for the blog.

1^st Date:

The first ever Tinder date I went on was with *Esteban. I totally expected this date to be a bad one. Like, awful date, because you know – Tinder.

The first tinder “date” with Esteban, lasted about 6 hours and well I went in expecting it to be an awful date, it turned out to be a great date.

With that said, Esteban deserves to have his own post.

So on to the second date!

2^nd Date.

The second tinder date I went on was with a guy named *Billy.  Now, first off the fact that his name was Billy should have been a sure sign that it was going to be at least a bit awkward.
We had agreed to meet up at Starbucks. However, Billy was late and Starbucks was closing. With me on time and the coffee addict I am, I got coffee and waited outside for this guy to show up.
Billy finally shows up and we have an awkward “Hi I’m Bailey, Hi I’m Billy” greeting and I tell him since he was late, Starbucks is now closed.

So we walk into another coffee shop to get him a coffee and wonder about. Inside the coffee shop the following exchange happens.

Billy – Hi, I’ll get a large triple shot iced Americano.
Barista Cool, anything for you lady (referring to me).
Me- *drinking out of a Starbucks cup* Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m all set.

The date with Billy was off to an OK start, although a bit patchy. I asked him what he did for a living and he works in theater lighting. Billy talking about his job was probably the highlight of the date. He clearly enjoys what he does and has a passion for it. But if I’m going to be honest, the date was going pretty well until the topic of politics came up. Turns out he is not a fan of our new PM and then went on about bill C-51.
Over all it was an awkward date. Billy is actually a really cool person . Although not for me, so on to the next.

3^rd date.

The third date I went on was with a guy named *Dave.
I left after less than 15 mins.
This is literally what went down after we met up at a coffee shop and said hello. (Remember I’m a coffee addict and if it’s going to be a bad date, I might as well be caffeinated.

Me : “So do you want to sit down and chat or wander about and chat?”
Dave: “Well we could sit, but I have to ask, has any one told you that you have huge tits?”
-He asks this question as we are standing at the bar with coffee in hand-
Me: “Yes they have and if you could move past that this date will last a little bit longer for you.”
Dave: “But they are just so big! Do you fall over all the time?”

I had to put down my coffee at this point because I proceeded to laugh, laugh some more than laughed until I couldn’t breathe. Then I took my coffee and I left.

Let’s be realistic here, if that was the start of the date, it wasn’t going to get any better than that.

I’ve been on a couple more tinder dates since, one was horrible and the other was actually pretty adorable. So I’ll save those two for part two.

*Names have been changed because privacy is cool.