If you know me you know I’ve gone on some horrible dates.
Esteban was my first ever Tinder date. I remember meeting Esteban at a coffee shop after work and I remember the moment he walked in the door. I thought to myself “Well hello there!” Esteban was a big guy, I mean arms for days! I never realized I had a thing for arms until I met this guy.
Anyway, what started out as a walking coffee quickly turned into a 6 hour date. We watched the sunset over Vancouver and then we grabbed some food at a local pub. I laughed, I cried because I laughed so much and I enjoyed myself. It was late so I had accepted a ride home from Esteban and once we reached my house, we said our good nights and I kissed him.
We began that weird awkward dance of getting to know each other and dating at the same time, but not putting a label on it. Like a true Vancouverite. Although, Esteban did end up giving me a hickey early on in this weird little dance. So in his own way, he tried to put a label on it. But thanks to a side braid and concealer, all was well.
I remember the first time I met his friends, so many faces and stories about Esteban were told. I remember being told “if you hang around long enough you will experience some of your own”. The night went on and we ended up dancing until 2 am. It was a great night and I truly had a good time. I even brought over Cards against Humanity over to his place one time and enjoyed an evening with his friends.
I also remember the next morning, realizing Esteban has no coffee maker. As a coffee addict I was shocked to learn this. Also, I had been over at his place a few times, I’ve eaten dinner there, and I’ve made dinner there. How did I not notice this man had no coffee maker?! But Starbucks was just around the corner. No harm, no foul, but man get a coffee maker!
Coffee addicts rest assured, he later purchased a coffee maker.
Anyway, what goes up, must come down as they say. Oh boy, did they come down. I never thought by signing up for Tinder I would be learning a life lesson, but I did. Oh boy did I.
I had stayed the night over at Esteban’s and had woken up not feeling well. You remember how I told you Esteban’s a big guy? Well Esteban wanted a bit of morning action and I said no. He did try to persuade me but ultimately nothing of the sort was going to happen. I also needed to get ready for work. What did happen though was I got pinned to the bed by him and he started to give me a hickey. Well that might be fine and dandy, I hate hickeys. I’m not a child anymore, I don’t see the point in them and they are a pain to conceal. The worst part wasn’t being pinned to the bed but feeling totally helpless in getting this guy off of me. My words of “No, Stop it, Get the Fuck off of me” where going unheard. The more I struggled to get out from under him the angrier I got, and the more he thought I was joking. What was a few minutes felt like an hour, but I eventually got to my feet and emerged a true angry redhead.
I was livid.
“What the fuck!”
“Did you not here me?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I have never been this angry in YEARS DAMNIT!”
I grabbed a few of my things, alas, leaving behind my favorite black shirt and a makeup bag.
I slammed that door on my way out.
It made the most satisfying slamming noise.
You could hear from space I’m sure.
I called my sister and my BFF Mel. I was too angry to cry but I’m glad for both of them to be there for me when I needed them. Even if it was over the phone.
I did end up naming the hickey, Texas. Why? Well, because it was the size of Texas.
I told everything to one other person and she told me “Bailey, you are too good for him. No one should ever make you feel like that. We are always here if you need anything”. She made me realize something. I deserve someone who listens to what I have to say, takes my feelings into account and untimely respects me.
I asked for my things back from Esteban: a makeup bag and that shirt.
What he ended up giving me back my makeup bag, a grey tank top (that was too small for me), and some jewellery that wasn’t mine.
Just goes to show how much he paid attention to me eh?
In the end, Esteban got a coffee maker, I went out and bought a new shirt.
I also learned a life lesson.
If they don’t respect you, they don’t deserve you.