Browsing Tag

Dates

Relationships

Fireworks.

It’s no surprise that I’ve been on a countless number of dates. Mostly bad ones, but I’ll be honest with you, I would go on those bad dates again. Going on bad dates has taught me what I liked, what I didn’t and most importantly, what I was looking for in a partner in crime.
It’s also no surprise that I’m in an age where internet dating is a thing. But have you ever go on an awful date and you know instantly it isn’t going to go anywhere? However, you don’t want to come off as a bitch because you realized this in the first 5 mins?

I’ve been there MANY a times.

I had a Facebook friend post this and it showed up on my feed. I instantly replied.

Ugh. Awful date. His pictures made him seem so much more attractive. Now I have to let him down somehow.

I totally get that a picture doesn’t do a person justice, or they only post they only post one type of photo. I also understand that if you aren’t attracted to them, then why waste your time and their time? I feel you need sparks to make some fireworks.This was my response

“I’ll be honest with you, I feel like we aren’t going to work. I don’t feel a spark and I don’t want to waste your time and lead you on. Okay, thanks Bye”.

This was my go to -holy-crap-need-to-run-away-now-but-don’t-want-to-hurt-your-feelings- exit speech.

Yes I had an exit speech. I went on a few dates with guys where it should have ended after the first date, but they seem to be enjoying themselves and I didn’t want to be mean or rude. But by doing that I was leading them on in hopes that these dates would become something. I also was wasting their time, not to mention mine.

On a date where you know it’s not going to go anywhere for you? Be honest with them. I’ll be cliché here, Honesty is the best policy. If they feel like you are being a rude, mean or a bitch because of it, well then great. You dodged a bullet there.
For me dating was awesome (bad dates and all) because I got to understand what I wanted, needed and deserved: Respect.

If you aren’t enjoying yourself on a date, then how can you enjoy a relationship with them? This is a great question, dates are supposed to be fun and you are supposed to enjoy yourself. If by the end of the date you realize this person isn’t for you, let them know. You might not want to do it right away, because it can be scary. But let them know eventually.

DON’T just block & ignore them or use a rouse you saw on t.v.
DO  respect them as a human and be upfront & honest with them.

In the end someone might be hurt but they can’t fault you for being honest and true to yourself.

All the best,
Bailey B.

Relationships

Bad Dates part 2.

As I previously wrote about some of the bad dates I’ve been on, which can be found here. I’ve been reminded of so many more awful dates that I just couldn’t hold back and needed to share.

Have you ever been told you don’t eat enough well on a date? Well I have. Have you ever been to Anton’s pasta bar? Well if you haven’t ever been, you get a plate of pasta which is about the size of a small baby. I had been once before with an old boyfriend, so I was prepared for the sheer size of the plates.
At our scheduled time for my date to pick me up, I got a text which stated “Hey, sorry I’m running late”. When he finally arrived, turns out he lost track of time getting ready. We finally left for Anton’s, and somehow managed to get in before it got too busy*. We get seated, served water and menus. I got the Gnocchi Cardinale and he ended up with Linguine Alla Siciliana. Is it bad that I remember what we ordered but for the life of me, can’t remember his name? Anyway, once the meals where served, we began to enjoy our food and some more small conversation. After about 20 mins, I have eaten so much food, but I’ve only made a small dent in the corner. This is where my date tells me “You know for a girl, you don’t eat enough. You should at least try and enjoy yourself when you are out with me.” Food aside, the conversation wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t like he was actually trying to get to know me. I simply told him “Well, just because the food is in front of me, doesn’t mean I need to eat all of it. I’m getting full and rather than over indulge and feel gross after, I would rather enjoy my food then stuff my face with it.” He had no words for that and we carried on to other topics.
I offered to pay for my part of the bill, he insisted to pay all of it. I wasn’t going to argue, and we left. We ended up going for a walk as it was super nice out and then he drove me home. We reached my house, we have stopped for no more than a few seconds. I was getting ready to leave the car and the conversation went as follows

 “What, after all that you aren’t going to invite me in? Where is my goodnight kiss?”

Note, we are still in the car, I’m holding my leftovers from dinner. I stopped what I was doing and said

“Excuse me?!” Date replied with “Yeah, I paid for dinner, we went for a walk and you aren’t even going to let me inside or kiss me good night!”

Cue angry redhead,

“Well –dates name I don’t remember- If you were a nice guy, you would have walked me to the door instead of trying to kiss me like a 16year old who just got the keys to his car. Secondly, I offered to pay my part, you said no. That doesn’t grant you a free ticket inside, a goodnight kiss maybe, but no entry into my bedroom. Thirdly, for future dates you go on, never comment on how much or how little a women eats at dinner.”

This guy, now realizing the date is over, leans in for a kiss anyway. My reaction was to dump the contents of my dinner in his lap and left the car.

There was also a date I went on when I was newly single in Vancouver, where I agreed to meet a date named Don, at a Starbucks. If I’m meeting someone I don’t know, it’s always in a coffee shop. I knew instantly who he was when I walked in. Don was dressed nicely, but he was also seated with 3 drinks. A coffee, a latte and a tea. He wanted to see which one I would choose and the reason behind it. When I told him I would get my own drink because I’m particular about my drink at Starbucks*. He said got defensive and said “Well it’s not like I drugged any of them or something! I wanted to try a experiment on you!
I stood up, left and didn’t look back.

*Antons gets crazy busy, go early if you want to beat the line
*Grand white mocha with two pumps of raspberry. Very sweet but delicious.

What is your worst or awkward date?

All the best,
Bailey B.

Relationships

Awkward dates

Every person has a story of a bad date that they have been on. I have been on more than my share of awful, cringe worthy dates.  Let me share you a couple true stories of my life when I was single.

This date took place about 3 years ago? I went on a date with an attractive redhead named Gavin. He seemed like an interesting character with some quirky personality. We decided to meet up for lunch. We ended up meeting up at Cafe Deux Soleils because he’s vegetarian. He’s attractive, outgoing and he loves animals, why is this man single? Well…. we somehow got on the topic of finding “the one” and babies. Yes already on awkward ground as we had been on this date for about 30 mins. Then, he proceeds to drop the following and I look for the nearest exit to go anywhere but that moment.

“You will need to be pure before we start having kids. Like no more drinking, drugs and un-natural foods. Everything you put into your body from now on will be organic so our baby will have a clean and healthy start with their energy”.

It should be noted that I don’t do drugs, but Gavin here was talking about cold and pain medications such as ibuprofen and the like.

The date ended soon after.

I like to believe that everyone goes on at least one super awkward date in their life. Let me tell you about my awkward date with Mike that happened about 2 years ago. He was working as an architectural technologist, so in other words very smart with lines and terms. He was about my height, short blond hair and a retainer. Mike wasn’t my usual type of guy, he was very shy, awkward, didn’t like sports but had a kind smile. We had an alright first date over cheesecake and coffee. Mike was very shy, loved books and old movies, so the first date was a bit slow but other than that quite lovely. The second date started off with Mike taking his retainer out before dinner, which is alright but leaving it on the table in the open, not so much. When dinner was over and walking to the skytrain, I saw the kiss coming miles away. How? Well he said “In order to give you a proper kiss, I need to remove my retainer”.

The date ended very soon after that, without a good night kiss.

I had gone on of dates with some guy who’s name I can’t remember, but I do remember going out for dinner, ending back at my place hanging out on the couch. I don’t remember much of that evening other than feeling super uncomfortable as he tried his hardest to put his moves on me. I should mention that my roommate was home this entire time, so that in itself was awkward. I do however remember him saying the lines “No grapefruits, no grouping” and laughing my ass off in front of him. As to the context of this I can only imagine it had to do with my roommate’s grapefruits on the table and this date wanting to go forth with more than just hanging out on the couch. I also remember hearing my roommate laugh from his room soon after hearing that line and him thinking this guy was an asshole.

Needless to say, the dates didn’t continue after that.

I’ve been on many, many first dates, some great, most not so great, some awful. I learned through dating that to find a prince you have to kiss a few frogs or throw pasta in their face. Now that’s one of my favorite memories from dating, but that’s for another time!

All the best,
Bailey B.